Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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