I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
