I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
