she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are we still banned from the library?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
