Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
