I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
