Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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