Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
