I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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