i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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