I need help removing her.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
