How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
