apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
