he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
