that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
