is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
