I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
