I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
