Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
