your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
