He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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