also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
