Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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