Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
