My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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