I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
