she looked like the before picture.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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