Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
