I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
should my penis look like a turkey
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
