i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
