I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I look better un-naked...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
