do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize