I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
