Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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