Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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