At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The Olympian is in my bed
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