sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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