Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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