Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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