its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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