Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
