Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
