A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
