first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
