covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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