I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Fuck appropriateness.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
