that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
