My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
