i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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