physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We got so high we made milksteak
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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